And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
