She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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