Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
