Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
