hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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