You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
