Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
