Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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