I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
