all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize