How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
