He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
