i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
