Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
