Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
