at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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