i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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