Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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