i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Come on in and take your pants off
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
