I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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