Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
