And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
