I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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