I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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