Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
