does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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