Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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