Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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