The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
