good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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