Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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