You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
