my mouth tastes like poor choices
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
