i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Alive.
So much puke
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize