yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
