he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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