WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
