Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
