Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Pants are for mortals
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
