Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
