Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he thought i was a dude.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
