And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
