don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
