lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
