return my video game
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
