Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
