Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
