I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
