sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
