im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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