I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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