No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
