We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
