Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just invented taco cereal.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
