I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
