Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize