a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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