I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
