he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
