Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
