I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
where does the pee come out of this thing
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
