Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
please come you make the beer taste better
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We are two peas in an std pod
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
