I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
