Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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