But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
