apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
did i just pee glitter
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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