there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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