the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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