so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
