When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
