It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
