that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize