I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
