my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
