Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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