drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
