Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
